


Coming Home

by TheRealLadyLoki



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Character Death, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 11:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3689811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRealLadyLoki/pseuds/TheRealLadyLoki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock receives word of Spock Prime's death. He struggles to balance his loss with the realization that Spock Prime is now with Jim Prime, right where he'd wanted to be all along. </p><p>Post Star Trek: Into Darkness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coming Home

"He's dead."

The words barely penetrated Jim's sleep-logged brain. He was floating along the fine line between consciousness and unconsciousness, his body lost in the not-unpleasant abyss that often accompanied mind-blowing sex with his lover. The words sounded fuzzy and distant, as if someone were trying to talk to him from underwater.

Long, thin fingers tangled in his mop of dirty-blond hair, massaging soothing circles into his scalp. The constant attention had his body like jelly, and his eyes felt heavy, refusing to open. Nevertheless, he could _feel_ Spock's distress. His body was like a rubber band that had been stretched far beyond its means, that was simply waiting to be released. His breathing was slightly labored, his heart rate accelerated just enough that it sounded like thunder against Jim's ear. And that hand, seeking out a familiar pattern along the grooves of Jim's skull... Spock often performed the gesture subconsciously, comforting his lover in the hopes of gaining comfort in return.

Jim forced his body up alongside Spock's, momentarily breaking free of the half-Vulcan's lulling embrace. As soon as he re-situated himself, however, Spock's hand returned to his head. Jim sighed, fighting the urge to go out then and there. "Who is dead?"

Spock's eyes widened slightly, as if he hadn't actually expected Jim to have heard what he'd said, but he quickly regained control of himself. "Spock Prime."

His face a stoic, unreadable mask, Spock then recalled for Jim the complicated tale of how he had recieved the news. Apparently, the elder half-Vulcan had gone peacefully. They had sought him out because he had been absent at a council meeting - the temporary government that had been put in place while they worked to bring the shambles of their race together on New Vulcan - and had found him in his bed, already gone. As he had been of great council to Spock, and seeing as he had no other living family, the council saw it fit to inform him of Spock Prime's passing. He'd recieved word of his passing an hour before Beta shift had concluded.

"And you didn't tell me?" Jim sounded angry, but he calmed himself almost immediately. He didn't want Spock to misinterpret his anger. "Spock, you should have told me. Spock Prime was so much more than just your mentor... he was like a part of you. You need time to digest that kind of loss."

Jim tried to meet Spock's eyes, but the half-Vulcan wouldn't have it. "I have experienced such loss before. Time does not necessarily lessen the... the..."

"Pain?" Jim supplied helpfully. Spock didn't answer, but that in and of itself was answer enough. "Spock, she was your mother. That kind of pain never really -,"

"I was talking about you." Spock interjected flatly.

Jim fell silent, attempting to take in this new information. This was, by far, the deepest pillow talk they'd ever had, and Jim didn't want to mess up the fact that Spock was finally opening up to him by not taking the time to really think about what it was that Spock was offering him. Spock was handing him his emotions on a silver platter. In those last few moments before he succumbed to the darkness, dying slowly of radiation poisoning, he thought that he heard Spock crying. But that couldn't be true, could it? Before, Spock's hurt and inner-turmoil had turned to anger. He'd nearly killed Jim in his rage. There had certainly been no tears.

To be completely honest, Jim didn't remember much from the incident with Khan. What he _did_ remember, however, was waking up to find himself face-to-face with large, coal-black eyes, casually glancing up from the PADD that was perched on the man's knee. He'd simply smirked, never once alluding to the fact that he'd suspected anything other than a full recovery. Jim should've been able to read behind those eyes, though. He should've been able to see the swollen eyes, the blotchy cheeks, the gaunt body. He should've been able to see the concern in McCoy's eyes, not just for his own well-being, but for Spock's as well.

"I'm sorry." But it sounded painfully hollow to his own ears.

"No, you're not." Spock said flatly. "If we were to undergo similar circumstances," here, he fell silent for a moment, clearly disturbed by the thought, "I would expect you to do exactly as you did all over again. A good captain goes down with his ship. And you are, if nothing else, an excellent captain."

Jim swallowed hard. "Well, then, I guess that that's where we're different." He thought back to Spock in the Volcano, and was barely able to conceal a shiver. "I would want you to _want_ to live, to _want_ to save yourself. And if you couldn't... then I would be there to save you."

And then, Spock confessed softly, "It was my great misfortune that I did not get the chance to speak with him more often, but when we did speak, we often discussed you. It would seem as if his Jim had passed quite a while ago, and in not so peaceful a fashion. He has wanted to be with him for some time." A pause, "I know of the feeling."

Not liking the turn this conversation had taken, Jim frowned. "Spock... you weren't..."

"If there was no way to save you, I would have joined you soon enough. T'hy'la..." in a rare moment of weakness, not unlike what he'd seen in his last moments in the radiation chamber, Spock confessed, "I don't know if I could go on as nobly as Spock Prime, living on for years or even decades after your death."

So, finally, he had reached the heart of the matter. Spock was once again torn between his Vulcan heritage and his humanity, torn between what he had been taught to believe was right and what he felt in his heart. He wanted to say that "a good captain should go down with his ship", and that he would rather Jim be noble and save the lives of many than selfish just to save his own life. But he really wanted to take Jim's approach, to want Jim to want to live and to want to save himself. And if Jim's fate did happen to slip through his fingers somehow, he'd join him in the afterlife.

Jim snuggled down into Spock's side. "Well, I sincerely hope that we don't have to worry about that for a long time, yet."

Spock went back to stroking his scalp, and Jim felt his eyes grow heavy once again. "Yes." But he _was_ thinking about it, and it was upsetting Jim.

"They're together now, you know?" Jim slurred sleepily. Damn Spock and his ability to put him to sleep so easily. "You said that Spock Prime has wanted to be with his love for some time... well, now they're together again." Jim sought out Spock's free hand, and, upon finding it, interlocked their fingers in a Vulcan kiss.

"Jim..." he sighed breathily.

"And we're together now. That mess with Khan... it's behind us now. I'm sorry for your loss..." he stroked Spock's hair, the short black locks still damp with sweat from their earlier excursions. "But in a way, it's kinda like coming home, right? After all this time... Spock Prime is finally coming home to Jim Prime."

Spock was shivering, body awakening to sensations aroused by the Vulcan kiss. But neither was interested in sex at the moment. Instead, Jim scooted up, throwing a leg over Spock's and making himself comfortable, making himself _felt_. He wanted Spock to know that he was there, and that, no matter what tomorrow brought, nothing would change the fact that he would fight and _keep fighting_ to make it back to that spot. Because, much as he didn't want to admit it aloud, he felt exactly the same as Spock. If Spock had gone in that Volcano, Jim would have followed shortly thereafter. His home was where Spock was, after all.

 The tension seemed to leave Spock's body at that, and Jim knew that Spock had heard him through the bond. He smiled softly. "I love you, T'hy'la." He didn't need to voice how thankful he was that Spock had shared this with him. He knew that Spock could feel it through the bond.

"And I you, T'hy'la." And they fell asleep like that, tangled in one another, seeking comfort in the presence of their beloved.


End file.
